All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
