Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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