Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
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The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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