my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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