It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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