You just made me feel so damn special
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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