no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
