would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods