): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Enjoy the penises
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.