People in love make me want to vomit
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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