Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
