he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize