Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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