I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
