I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
