If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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