I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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