Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.

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  (415): Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius. http://tfl.nu/jxsz
  Replies (21) Good night (5033) Bad night (959)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????

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  (603): you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt???? http://tfl.nu/wi9x
  Replies (44) Good night (800) Bad night (4740)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation

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  (440): I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee (1-440): please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation http://tfl.nu/gydk
  Replies (78) Good night (6625) Bad night (7132)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.

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  (612): If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting. http://tfl.nu/7l1r
  Replies (13) Good night (4634) Bad night (1538)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.

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  (734): He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another. http://tfl.nu/sx70
  Replies (11) Good night (4515) Bad night (1731)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does

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  (415): I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does http://tfl.nu/67y4
  Replies (10) Good night (3102) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.

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  (310): You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila. http://tfl.nu/3egv
  Replies (3) Good night (3276) Bad night (979)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.

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  (201): Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants. http://tfl.nu/zw7z
  Replies (14) Good night (3767) Bad night (1971)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...

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  (773): the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay... http://tfl.nu/071o
  Replies (6) Good night (2234) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place

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  (307): He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place http://tfl.nu/50j6
  Replies (4) Good night (928) Bad night (357)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really

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  (+44): although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really http://tfl.nu/kxvm
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (302)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close

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  (901): How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close http://tfl.nu/pa4w
  Replies (7) Good night (681) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.

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  (406): So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad. http://tfl.nu/q68j
  Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.

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  (859): I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot. http://tfl.nu/dk5g
  Replies (1) Good night (873) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom

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  (203): Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom http://tfl.nu/ba36
  Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (288)

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