Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.