Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  tweet Hawks Win!! tweet

  (847): View more from Illinois

  That's how twitter works, right?

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  (847): tweet Hawks Win!! tweet (847): That's how twitter works, right? http://tfl.nu/21xu
  Replies (12) Good night (1629) Bad night (1007)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Hey it's Austin.

  (254): View more from Texas

  I am not drunk enough for this conversation.

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  (210): Hey it's Austin. (254): I am not drunk enough for this conversation. http://tfl.nu/124v
  Replies (29) Good night (1159) Bad night (2126)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  with a sacreligious after taste.

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  (847): It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut. (1-847): with a sacreligious after taste. http://tfl.nu/wzar
  Replies (7) Good night (2245) Bad night (746)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings

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  (605): For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings http://tfl.nu/sahq
  Replies (30) Good night (2945) Bad night (937)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college

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  (847): A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college http://tfl.nu/uf6j
  Replies (37) Good night (5425) Bad night (646)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.

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  (817): Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there. http://tfl.nu/ie6m
  Replies (8) Good night (2900) Bad night (2083)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.

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  (240): When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again. http://tfl.nu/1y07
  Replies (24) Good night (7388) Bad night (1110)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.

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  (519): This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun. http://tfl.nu/wpnv
  Replies (3) Good night (2319) Bad night (977)
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  (619): View more from California

  Be still, my beating vagina.

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  (619): Be still, my beating vagina. http://tfl.nu/qyal
  Replies (22) Good night (4543) Bad night (1152)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.

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  (814): bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles. http://tfl.nu/uozt
  Replies (11) Good night (2755) Bad night (812)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325

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  (910): Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly. (910): im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325 http://tfl.nu/vc15
  Replies (26) Good night (917) Bad night (2465)
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  (310): View more from California

  You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.

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  (310): You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag. http://tfl.nu/d3da
  Replies (8) Good night (1351) Bad night (689)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk

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  (513): He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk http://tfl.nu/w9ix
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (360)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.

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  (606): He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after. http://tfl.nu/68ad
  Replies (1) Good night (666) Bad night (249)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.

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  (405): Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay. http://tfl.nu/oj1t
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (276)

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