Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that

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(949): Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that http://tfl.nu/44ly

Replies (35) Good night (844) Bad night (5607)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.

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(540): I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form. http://tfl.nu/y5wx

Replies (10) Good night (581) Bad night (3321)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.

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(604): The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches. http://tfl.nu/tdy2

Replies (57) Good night (1467) Bad night (6768)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches

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(337): we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches http://tfl.nu/7vm5

Replies (15) Good night (4002) Bad night (619)
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(804): View more from Virginia

you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth

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(804): you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth http://tfl.nu/ftsz

Replies (7) Good night (1162) Bad night (3905)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.

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(401): the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex. http://tfl.nu/qat1

Replies (18) Good night (5523) Bad night (993)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?

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(412): turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's? http://tfl.nu/akbw

Replies (4) Good night (2693) Bad night (909)
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(903): View more from Texas

Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

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(903): Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning. http://tfl.nu/i0lg

Replies (6) Good night (3181) Bad night (1158)
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(916): View more from California

You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.

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(916): You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito. http://tfl.nu/1uk0

Replies (8) Good night (2225) Bad night (675)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB

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(+44): you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB http://tfl.nu/timz

Replies (5) Good night (2000) Bad night (876)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.

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(204): I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk. http://tfl.nu/i2hd

Replies (1) Good night (1164) Bad night (622)
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(813): View more from Florida

You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him

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(813): You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him http://tfl.nu/hong

Replies (5) Good night (1687) Bad night (659)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.

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(270): Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man. http://tfl.nu/achk

Replies (9) Good night (2323) Bad night (496)
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(646): View more from New York

i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.

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(646): i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks. http://tfl.nu/tt2c

Replies (5) Good night (430) Bad night (702)
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(917): View more from New York City

I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.

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(917): I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart. http://tfl.nu/eru1

Replies (1) Good night (1178) Bad night (360)

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