; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
