before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
you're hired as official boob wrangler
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
