Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize