69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i will never coherently bang her
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
