Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
