In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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