You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
