just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
