Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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