It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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