Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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