Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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