What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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