There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
