Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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