I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
