Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
there was a trapeze. enough said
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
