I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
