I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
