No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
