I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
