Are we in a gay sports bar?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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