M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
