Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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