dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So vagazzling was a success
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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