Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
