Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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