Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
