she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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