Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it's like iHOP with fire
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
