If that was your dad, he is hot
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
