You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
