woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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