She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
