I'm drive I can fine osifer
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
