I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
