Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He shit in the fireplace
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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