saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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