Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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